Guarded

 

Look into these eyes, my friend, and tell me what you see. Can you see through my words into the center of my soul and understand why I'm guarded? 

People confuse themselves and misunderstand why I'm quote on quote, "Bitchy". My eyes may appear stormy: dark as tinted glass, and my walk of life uncontrollable and cold-hearted. 

Truth is, I'm guarded because the world is beautiful and dangerous. Life caught me up and taught a little girl there's going to be hardship and trauma that you can't escape. 

I'll provide my own protection and rely upon God through faithfulness. I'll walk alone till you earn the privilege of seeing my soul, but heaven won't help you enter my life toxically and fake. 

The benefit of staying guarded is protecting my loved ones, the center of my life and happiness. As for myself, I don't play with the devil and fight every day to move forward from my pains.

So yes, I walk around society, looking open and genuine while we interact, but I'm still masking. Once that trust and respect are earned, you will see who I am: the good parts and the insane. 

You'll become family. So be patient, and don't fool me with lies and games. One day, that guard will lower enough to allow your heart to enter my home, and my caring for you will be everlasting.