Contemplations over Chai and Coffee

Corona is the new leading cause for Insanity

 

    Self-isolation for the sake of our health isn’t easy, but for people who aren’t antisocial-such as extroverts- it’s worse. It's near to the end. Now I’m an antisocial introvert so I feel my usual normal about this. Life will eventually go back to some form of semi normal. However, I also live with an active extravert and she’s losing her mind! She can’t do theater, work, and be with her boyfriend or around other friends. It’s hard for her.

     Now for those of you who don’t live with any extraverts and understand the torment the introvert world has to endure I’ll make it simple; out-of-control, energizer bunny extraverts give introverts heart attacks by popping up, talking non-stop and following them everywhere. Think toddlers and their parents if you need a visual. If you want something funny about the torture look below to the skit I wrote. 

Trapped in the Straits of Madness by L.S.R

China 1: “Hey, people are dying from this virus in one of our providences and other nations are noticing. What do we do?”

China 2:  “Say nothing and do less. Our experiment is working.”

China 1: “But, we’re dying…

China 2: “Do it or we’ll kill you and your family!”

China 1: “….The experiment is working and we’re handling the crisis.”

China 2: “Wise choice.” 

  Narrator:   And thus, after the virus carrying tourists had been evacuated, Corona spread more rapidly than fire causing global panic and death by the thousands. When China was confronted they blamed a bat for the disease’ creation; it wasn’t their fault. And so, left desperate and in the dark, the nations of the world announced a decree; to preserve the global population’s health and safety everyone must isolate themselves from society. 

 Nations:  “China’s lying to us and we’re desperate. Here’s our game plan; mandatory Self Isolation for the masses until we’ve got a vaccine. Shut down everything we can, start pay cutting, cut off the dead weight and close the schools. No one can leave the house unless their work is crucial to society…”

Introvert:  “YES!!”

Extravert:  “Okay, as long as it’s not forever...”

Nations:  “For several months until further notice. Thank you for your cooperation.”

Extravert:  “Wait. What? *3..2..1..Que the screaming*: MY LIFE IS OVER, I HAVE NO PURPOSE WITHOUT BEING AROUND OTHER PEOPLE!”

Introvert:  “Chill E, it won’t be that bad.” 

1 Month Later

Introvert: “AAHHH! LEAVE ME ALONE!!!”

Extravert: “I’M BORED AND I NEED PEOPLE! STAY WITH ME!!!”

Introvert: “NO! GO BACK TO BINGING AND THE PIT YOU CRAWLED OUT OF CREEP!”

Extravert: “WE CAN BE TOGETHER FOREVER!”

Introvert: “DROP DEAD!”

Extravert: “NO! I’M BORED!”

Introvert: “FINE, LET’S WATCH TV!”

* Introvert turns on TV*

TV Announcer: “Governor So and So has announced they will be extending the quarantine for the state.”

Extravert and Introvert: “NO!”

*Extravert smashes the TV*

Introvert: “!!!!!!”

Extravert: “FREEDOM FOR THE FREE! VIVE LE RESISTANCE! JUDGMENT DAY IS HERE FOR EARTH! AHAHAHAHA!!!” * Laughs manically and jumps up and down on the TV’s remains*

Introvert: * Stares at Extravert then walks away* “I’ll be in the bunker if you need me.”

The End